Finally PART 2 of In Memory of Edward Cortez

So you read in the first part that my father made a lot of bad choices, drank most of his life & hurt his family very much. He watched his wife die that day and had much guilt & shame come upon him. Every part of my being wanted to HATE him but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. He was my father, that God the father appointed to me. Even though I didnt understand that then, I do very much now. 

My grandfather, mother's father, had much hate for my father. So when funeral and other arrangements were being made, my grandfather excluded my father from them all. He in fact hired someone to make sure my father was not to be at any part of it. I felt the forgiveness in my fathers soul as he cried to me and my brother how sorry he was to have treated our mother the way he did. I seen him on his knees asking for forgiveness from God. He knew of God but hadnt yet really called on him until this time. His brother Louie who was a Reverend, had tried many times to lead him to the Lord, but he hadn't fully made the commitment. So we found it in our hearts to forgive my father & we took my father to the funeral home against my grandfather's wishes. He got to say his final goodbye's and cry out more to God and her to how sorry for all his mistakes. For not loving her the way her should have, for not being faithful to her, for the physical abuse, for not being the father he should have and so on. It was a very painful site for me. I remember the pain flowing so fast through my veins. The pain of all the memories of the past and the love, forgiveness and peace God was replacing it with. That day my mom died I remember in the moment asking God why he didnt take my dad instead. But this day I remember understanding why he didn't. See my mom had given the last 3 years of her life to Christ. Even though she was sick most of them, she was ready to go home to be with Jesus. My father had not yet & we needed the extra time to make things right with him. While we were growing up we didn't have much of a relationship with him. Now it was that time. My father agreed to go to a 6 month program and get clean. So we visited him as much as possible. I think maybe 4 months in, and dad dropped out of program. He pretty much escaped from the place. He went back to the worst drug of them all; heroin and it was the final draw for his already diseased liver. He immediatly got sick and my aunt had my uncle come get him to take care of him in DHS, CA. He lived a total of 1 1/2 after my mother. But what is important is that we got to make things right. We made amends & my father did finally give his life to Christ on those last days. I remember talking to him the Sunday before he died, he was still trying to say sorry for things he felt he hadn't yet. My heart had forgive him & I felt at peace with us. He died that Saturday.

I didnt fully understand all this that had happened in my past until I had a REAL relationship with my heavenly Father myself. God has brought me to a place to use all my past trials & pain to make me a stronger women in HIM. To use it to help others in there life. I thank God for that last year with my father. To learn to love him & let go of all pain & replace it for love & laughter. One thing I didn't mention; my dad Ed Corte, was a very funny man.....Laugh on daddy~